Time to turn over a new leaf!

I say this every time I log on to this darn site; Its time for me to actually begin to post and to start writing--I teach it all day for crying out loud, you would think that I could find some time to do a bit of my own. Oh well, I am resolved. I believe that the reason I neglect this blog so much is because I spend the majority of my time monitoring the other six blogs that I use for the classes I teach and my families. It has occurred to me though, that since I am teaching at a small rural school, it would be a good idea to chronicle some of the experiences that I am having as an English teacher. I will, of course adjust the names and, as a writer, aggrandize some of the situations for effect, but hopefully it will work out in the end. I'm not sure how I want to compose these narratives, whether I will tell them as simple stories or journal entries. For the time being I think that I will try a combination of the two, anything to get the juices flowing and along the line I will try to post some of the personal projects that I am working on as well. Readership will be low, I'm quite sure of that, but in the end what's most important is that I am actually writing and not just sitting around doing nothing. So, without further ado, here is my first observation.

Public Humiliation

It always impresses me, the extent to which certain people will go to be accepted by others. Its Homecoming week at the Winston High and school spirit is everywhere. The student body council has contrived a long list of activities that encourage the classes to compete for points. What these points actually accomplish, I have no clue, but they are there none the less--i guess it is a bragging rights situation, if the juniors beat out the seniors then they can say they have more spirit than the rest. Actually, it has been an interesting experience. In many ways I have been teleported back to my high school days, sitting in the hallway watching as the various groups whooped and hollered about which class had more spirit, or which team was filled with the best athletes. Ah, to be able to return to a time in my life when my only care was how I would avoid being stuffed into a locker or thrown into the girls restroom by one of the larger, more thuggish students (usually a member of the football team). Wait, I hated high school! Why would I daydream about going back there? Oh yes, because it is homecoming week and once again, nearly ten years later, I am reliving some of my most horrific experiences. Why did I ever become a teacher?

So, what does all this have to do with public humiliation? Well, among the other activities: the Root Beer puking contest, the clown car stuff, the caramel apple puking contest, and the puke puking contest, all of which demonstrate exactly what Homecoming is about, the celebration of athleticism at its finest, there is an activity that boggles the mind--the senior sister. As it was explained to me by Cecily, one of my senior students, "The senior sister is an opportunity for the freshman girls to gain some greater acceptance among the upper-class men." To which my response was, "And how is this acceptance gained?" Apparently, and I was not aware of this, acceptance into the upper echelon of classes comes through the ritualistic act of humiliation at the hands of your "superiors." Well, if this is true in all situations, and has been since I was in school, then I actually was the most popular person in school. The logic is, I believe, somewhat akin to the fact that in the second grade you could tell if a girl liked you by how frequently she punched you in the eye, kicked you in your pre-pubescent groin, and kissed you on the playground.

For the freshman of Winston High, this act, unlike the one performed on the playgrounds across the world, is entirely self-inflicted. The freshmen girls knowingly sign-up to be publicly humiliated in front of the entire student body! Yes, it is true. Roughly a week before Homecoming begins, the fliers begin to pop up around campus: "Be part of a glorious tradition" one states "Have fun with your friends while making new friends and meeting the girls who will guide you through this first year" states a second. These harmless posters seem, at first, to be an open invitation to fellowship and seek support and guidance from the girls who have already been through their first year of High School. But then the truth begins to come out and despite what you would think, all logic is checked at the door. These kind alluring posters are simply bait; they are posted to trap the unlearned freshmen and lure them into the carnal security that they will be mentored and cared for. Whoever actually believes what is on those posters deserves what they get. The truth is that the senior girls use this little "activity" to demonstrate their superiority over the underclassmen, particularly the freshman girls.

The worst part is that the freshman girls know the truth and still they sign up by the dozens, over two dozen to be correct. What that means is that between twenty-four and thirty girls all decided that it was more important to be accepted by the senior girls than it was to hold on to the minuscule scraps of dignity with which they typically make it through the day. The entire activity begins at roughly 3 o'clock in the morning; the senior girls, who have not slept all night, pile into their various vehicles and begin to round-up their helpless victims like cattle. They intrude on their sleep by splashing ice water on them while in bed, chase them outside screaming like drill sergeants, and they force them into the rear seat of an already overloaded car where they are continually doused whenever they open their mouths to voice a discomfort. At this point, the girls are shuttled off to a changing area where their humiliation transformation begins. They are given outfits that would make the most unfashionably inclined scream with fright and run away; their makeup is applied by a blind folded paraplegic with no arms; and they are doused in the most rancid, foul smelling, sugary perfume obtainable. All in all, they look and smell as though they have spent way too much time in a bad 80's rock video.

Once these plebes are attired in their new attire, they are carted off to as many publicly humiliating activities as possible. Some are taken to Wal-Mart (the devils lair), and forced to perform various acts of humiliation such as leapfrog down the isles, or Marco Polo in the lingerie department. Usually their antics become so bothersome that the manager of said establishment (Mephistopheles himself) has to ask that the girls move on to their next activity, at which point they are taken out for a nice dinner at the local IHOP, Elmers, or Denney's--eating establishments that were initially conceived for just these times.

(to be continued ...)